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What Do I Call Them?

Oppa or hyung? Noona or unnie? In Korean, what you call an older friend depends on your gender and theirs: a female speaker says 오빠 (oppa) to an older man and 언니 (unni) to an older woman; a male speaker says 형 (hyung) and 누나 (noona). Someone born the same year is 동갑 — a friend, called by name; someone younger is your 동생. These are casual, affectionate words: at work or on first meeting, use name + 씨/님 instead. Enter both birth years to see the answer.
You
Them

You call them

they are 3 years older than you

오빠
oppa

Casually, among close friends. Dictionary: “남남끼리에서 나이 어린 여자가 손위 남자를 정답게 이르거나 부르는 말.”

They call you

동생 dongsaeng

Formal / just met

씨 (ssi) · 선배 (seonbae (sunbae)) · 님 (nim) — name + 씨 is always safe.

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The four words, in one table

You say…to an older manto an older womanto someone younger
Female speaker오빠 oppa언니 unnitheir name (+아/야 when close) — they are your 동생 dongsaeng
Male speaker형 hyung누나 noona
  • By birth year, not birthday. Same year = 동갑 (donggap) = friends. The 2023 age law changed legal counting, not this social habit.
  • Closeness first. The dictionary defines all four as words used “affectionately (정답게)” between people who are not related — so they mark a warm relationship. Colleagues, seniors and strangers get 씨/님, a title, or 선배님.
  • Bigger gaps change the word. Someone of your parents’ generation is 아저씨/아주머니 (friendly: 삼촌/이모), an elder is 어르신 — thresholds are customs, not rules; we say “roughly a generation apart”.

Sources (definitions, not rules — this is custom)

  • 오빠 — 표준국어대사전 — “남남끼리에서 나이 어린 여자가 손위 남자를 정답게 이르거나 부르는 말” 국립국어원 ↗
  • 형 — 표준국어대사전 — “남남끼리의 사이에서 나이가 적은 남자가 나이가 많은 남자를 정답게 이르거나 부르는 말” 국립국어원 ↗
  • 누나 · 언니 · 동생 · 친구 · 동갑 — 표준국어대사전 — the non-family senses used here 국립국어원 ↗
  • 표준 언어 예절 (2011) — 사회에서의 호칭·지칭 — National Institute of Korean Language guidance on address terms in society (reference) 국립국어원 ↗

FAQ

Oppa or hyung — what is the difference?

Both mean “older brother”, but the word depends on who is speaking: a girl or woman says 오빠 (oppa) to an older male, a boy or man says 형 (hyung/hyeong). Likewise 언니 (unni) is what a woman calls an older woman and 누나 (nuna/noona) is what a man calls an older woman. All four are used for actual siblings and, casually, for close older friends.

What do you call an older Korean man or woman?

Among close friends: 오빠/형 for a man, 언니/누나 for a woman (roughly up to ten-plus years older). Someone of your parents’ generation you do not know is 아저씨 / 아주머니 (or friendly 삼촌 / 이모 in shops and restaurants), and an elderly person is 어르신 (respectful) or 할아버지 / 할머니 (familiar). At work or when you have just met, use the name + 씨/님, a title, or 선배님.

What do Koreans call someone younger?

동생 (dongsaeng) — but that is how you refer to them, not usually how you address them. To their face you use their name, often with the vocative 아/야 (민수야, 지은아) once you are close.

Do I need to know their exact birthday?

Not usually. Everyday etiquette works by birth year: same birth year = 동갑 (donggap) = friends, regardless of month. Being one year apart is enough to switch to oppa/unni/hyung/noona among close friends. Legal age since 2023 counts birthdays, but the social habit is birth years.

Can I call my boyfriend or a K-pop idol oppa?

Girlfriends do call an older boyfriend 오빠, and fans famously call male idols 오빠 too — it signals closeness or affection, which is exactly why you would not use it with a stranger or at work. If you are older than him, 오빠 does not apply.

Is it rude to call someone by their name only?

To someone older or senior, a bare name can sound blunt. Add 씨 (Minsu-ssi), 님, a title (선생님, 팀장님) or a kin term. Same-age friends and younger people are addressed by name.

Next tool: ✍️ My Name in Korean →